This morning, my husband and I will be heading off to Vancouver for a 3 week family reunion; and of course we will play tourist.
This trip is a planned holiday but is more than 10 years overdue. My uncles and aunties had extended the invitation to us for more than 10 years, but we’ve only managed to put aside some time this year to venture out to that part of the world.
Over the past few years we had been deliberately planning various overseas trips, visiting various parts of the world, partly being a tourist, and also to visit our relatives and friends.
As you will notice, I use the word deliberate, why?
Before I explain the deliberate actions, allow me to stress why making time to connect is valuable and important, especially for migrants who had left home many years before. Have you ever wondered what has become of your home country, your relatives or your friends?
Both my husband and I had left our home more than 30 years ago. Each trip, when we head back to our home country, Malaysia, we notice our family and friends are getting older each day. And we hardly know the younger generations as well.
Sure, there are technologies nowadays that make connecting with your loved ones easier; however, I find that the most amazing way to re-connect and to really get to know someone is to meet face to face and actually spend quality time with them. This way you are INVOLVED in their daily lives.
When I visited my aunty in Japan recently, we stayed with her. We shared many precious moments together, experiencing her daily routines both in and out of the house. We went shopping together, visiting her favourite eateries, and just basically sharing her daily life with her. Through those precious few days, it allowed us to reconnect and we got to know her better.
So here are 4 reasons why we need to deliberately plan, meet and connect.
Feeling loved and valued
When you proactively and deliberately make the effort to connect with your loved ones, i.e. call, travel to see them, they feel valued and loved and connected as a family.
We are not getting any younger
We are no longer the teenagers who we set out to further their studies more than 30 years ago. So we are counting our blessings that we are still able to travel and enjoy every journey together, while catching up with families and friends that we had not seen, or communicated with, for so many years.
There are relatives that I just could not recall their names. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to reconnect with them and enjoy their company as well as getting to know the younger generations?
When you have time, they may not have time for you any more
This is a very important lesson and the main reason why we are deliberately making time to connect with our loved ones. Only a few years ago, we were busy bringing up our children, working and paying off our mortgage and school fees. There were little time and energy to even think about our relatives and friends overseas.
However, it is always on our mind that one day we SHOULD go back to see our close relatives, and reconnect with them, but it has to WAIT until we have the TIME…
During those waiting periods, our dearest and closest relatives passed away, a few very unexpectedly. So, the biggest lesson learned… whenever you can and where possible, do connect with relatives that are closest to you, whether it be by phone, letter, email, Facetime, whatsapp or face to face etc.
We just never know, right?
Reconnect as a couple
When we are at home, there will always be “things” to do, bills to pay, house to clean, garden to maintain, cooking, ironing… endless things to do, and by the time we have some time in the evening, we tend to be overly tired to even communicate.
When we make the deliberate trip overseas/somewhere, as long as it is away from the house and electronic gadgets and other distractions, we can actually relax and able to focus on our spouse, and start communicating again. Remember those many years ago when you first met, the things that you used to talk nonstop about, the things that you both enjoy doing…
Let’s deliberately plan an outing just for you and your spouse, and then give yourself time to reconnect with your loved ones.